“You are that woman. I was with Hillary last night, that’s in Clinton, and she is that woman too.” That is how my dinner started with Mr. Tom Meredith, the former CFO of Dell. He asked me to tell him about myself and to tell him my story. He said that someone’s story is their most important asset.
Luckily for me, I've always been a storyteller. I am constantly telling everyone I meet different stories about my life and what a ridiculous life I've lived! Some people try and piece together the stories by connecting the dots, but then others find beauty in the chaos and not really knowing specific sides of me. I guess my stories seem chaotic. I still find it humorous when good friends of mine think that I am just "x", when I am really "x-y & z" and then it makes me wonder how good of friends can we really be if they seem to not know me well at all. My closest friends can tell you my quirky routines that I have like how I put carmex chapstick around my entire lips before bed to how I like to warm up taco cheese in the microwave and eat it straight off the plate. Then there is my divine love for children and constant adoration for brass home goods, the fact that cats make my throat close up and pickled ginger makes me want to puke. Like Proust, each of my stories are a secret key to some major happening in my life, which it is impossible to fully clarify, but the reason as to why I do what I do, think the way I think and am the way I am. I am drugged with my own experiences and my own romances. I fall deeply in love with my stories. I live out my screenplays that I think up in my head and I stand here proudly and humbly with the child-like nature that I feature where I have bright-eyes and expressive eyebrows, when I get to act them out or tell my stories.
However, sometimes when you let people in and reveal stories about your past, even if it is just to dear friends, you become in despair. It's like you are a criminal, were in jail and now at last you are free and willing to work hard, but you can't. The moment people discover your past by hearing your story, they immediately discredit you as an individual, refuse to look beyond what you just disclosed and treat you with less admiration then before. Judgement is a cruel thing. We should learn to work harder towards not judging others, but rather finding beauty in the experiences one has had. I have not dwelt on the successes which could glorify me and I always remember my failures, weaknesses and humiliations that I use as strength for growing myself.
Everything after the days of owning a business changed for me. That was my life; my entire life! The idea of living with such a passionate commitment to an idea had always intrigued me- whether it be in business or in relationships. I made a tremendous effort to tackle many different assignments the past few years, which in a way has been counter-productive, because it has only made me spread myself too thin. You cannot possibly run several different things at the same time and be successful. I think that there is merit in doing one thing or a few things, and doing them very well. So as I did in the middle of 2014, and as I did earlier this year in 2016, there has been a little bit of change. The reason I don't run my own business anymore and the reason I've been slightly neglecting my blog for some time has simply been because I'm focusing my energy on my new assignment, trying to stay more offline to strengthen my relationships in-person with friends and simply figure out what it really means to be "that woman".
Coco wears an Etro Silk Blouse, Alice & Olivia Beaded Boucle Blazer, Armani Collezioni Skirt, Prada Patent Heels.
Photography: Bethany Halbreich