Saleforce.com owns my soul.
For those of you unfamiliar, Salesforce is a cloud-based CRM (Customer Relationship Management) software that is the tool to use for database management. Why it is currently ranked the most innovative company in America by Forbes is beyond me, but realistically, when you think about it, all major corporations and companies are sucked in, just as I am. The results are that Salesforce is ubiquitous and it’s now quite common for almost all companies to rely on. Salesforce has continued to be operationally successful for the past 15 years and continues to name-serve hundreds of thousands of corporations, thanks to their miracle cloud system, human intelligence software and effective management capabilities.
Instead of Basecamp for task management, we use Salesforce. Instead of Microsoft Dynamics CRM for a CRM management, we use Salesforce. Instead of Asana for teamwork collaboration, you guessed it, we use Salesforce. Salesforce is our home for business development, prospects, customers, meetings and tasks; Salesforce.com also reminds me when I need to go hunting, I mean, looking for new contacts again. Simply put, Salesforce.com controls all of us and it owns my soul. Even more amazing, just last month Salesforce announced that it has created their very own in-house venture arm that will help fund early-stage start-ups and apps, generally around mobile, adding them to the list of tech companies that are interested in taking over the world, I mean, being apart of the initial funding stages.
I've come up with my own genius plan and I would like everyone to know that I have decided to create my very own cloud-based CRM system and I am going to call it Cocoforce.com. The domain, Cocoforce.com, can be mine for a mere matter of pennies ($101 USD), which I may or may not be able to get down if I offer some home-made cookies as a bribe, lowering my initial investment costs drastically. After observing these innovations that Salesforce has offered their customers, I looked at potential disruption opportunities for Cocoforce and found that I would do exactly what all other tech companies do in this scenario and just copy-cat what worked for the leader, Salesforce.com (AKA the Grand-daddy of all Daddy's) and then I will add in some cool, "next-gen" features into my software that I wished they currently had, but don't. I decided that I would hire some hungry hipsters, who are willing to work for almost nothing so long as I promised them organic coffee, a good work/work balance and the ability to list "start-up" on their LinkedIn profile. I also will lie and tell them they’ll all get equity, but don't worry, they don't read anything beyond 140 characters, so we're safe to talk about it.
I then asked myself: what investor pain-points can I help solve? What kind of onerous constraints does cloud software impose? Will these MT's (micro-transactions) be enough to feed my ever growing desire for designer shoes? Investors and customers already get Salesforce.com, proven by their handsome $21mm from Institutional Financing and $110mm from their IPO, with a current valuation of ~$38B; but what about companies that have huge opportunities to copy-cat Salesforce, but negligible revenue, but a compelling, vigorous Twitter account. Assuming Cocoforce.com is capable of copying Salesforce.com, my grease will be to extend my CRM system so that it can document my wardrobe, boyfriends and all other things that I would like to categorize, sub-categorize and sub-sub-categorize. It will be an entire life-accounting CRM system filled with every type of bucket, tag, filter, pantone color, emoji and social media tool that one could ever wish for- allowing you to be the most organized human possible. Elon Musk needs to watch out as my next "Billion-Dollar Idea" is creating CocoX and that's Billion with a Capital B.
PS- for those of you interested in investing, you may or may not be able to get in on the ground level. I am skipping seed financing and going straight in for grown-up rounds. I've decided that my valuation is going to be $100MM pre-money, because I think the "double-zero" aspect looks prettier.
Billionaire, here I come!
Details: Isabel Marant Stripe Flannel Top, Vince Denim, Ann Demeulemeester Jacket, Rag & Bone Hat, Ralph Lauren Belt, Celine Sunnies, Fendi 2Jours Large Bag, Via Spiga Boots and my David Yurman Ring. (Isabel Marant Flannels are my new obsession- they are literally taking over my wardrobe).