A friend has recently asked me what the biggest change in my life has been as of late, and my response was nothing short of an explanation that started with, "Well, everything actually". Really, everything in my life is different, as of late, in a good way. Actually, in a really fantastic way. I've been on this aggressive, "build, create, grow" path for so long, that I don't really know anything else and I have thankfully weathered the period of crisis, and now a series of positive events have converted me into the person I am today.
I recently went through an extremely traumatic relationship that stole my ability to trust people and for a while, took away my ability to feel. Over the course of my life, the flowering essence of my very existence has been filled with so many other string of events, abnormally more events than any one person should ever have to endure, and I've noticed that it's hard for me, as of late, to feel anything that isn't absolutely blowing my mind. Because of which, I have remained fairly devoid of emotion for the better half of my existence. When one becomes victim to such acts, that person may assume postures wherein they close off their emotional labyrinth. Still proudly, I wouldn't say emotion has left my soul entirely, it's just harder to get to those electrifying moments that used to come so frequent. So here I am, someone that is now seeking things, experiences and people that make me feel. These things, experiences and people have to be extraordinary and if they achieve this level of feeling that I am looking for, I am obsessed with keeping them around and never letting them go.
The past two years have completely shaped who I am as a person. The realizations, the learnings, the growth, and in particular, the past few months. Lately, I have had this electrical intensity FIRE through my veins that is really hard to tone down; I don't want it to stop and I am going to do whatever I can do to keep it alive, because it's making me feel things; between the people I am investing my time in to the work that I spend my time creating, It's as if someone is calling my name and telling me that this is what I am supposed to be doing and I would be a silly girl not to adhere to their request.
PS. Who loves my tone on tone look?